The Masks We Wear

We all wear masks. It is normal and natural to wear masks from time to time. The purpose of a mask is to hide, conceal or disguise. When wearing masks, we can put on a different persona just like how Clark Kent switched into  Superman or Bruce Wayne into Batman. From geeks to superheroes. People do things they would never have done in their own faces. Lynching and torture are carried out by people in hoods with circles cut out for eyes. Bandits rob under the anonymity afforded by the mask. 

Human beings have a special skill. They can put on invisible masks at a click of the fingers, switching seamlessly from one mask to another without notice. There are times our mask serves us well because it identifies the roles we are playing clearly. When we are at work, we wear the secretary mask or lawyer mask. When we are out in the community, we wear the community leader mask.

From young, we have learned to wear masks. Parents tell their sons  that "boys do not cry". Boys learn early on in their lives that it is not socially acceptable to cry.  We also wear the "I am fine" mask. All too often, the smile is a mask that hides the deep pain within us. Do you remember the suicide of Steven Ko, son of  the famous Dr Ko? Was he wearing the "I am fine' mask or did he reveal his pain but no one paid any attention?

To fit in with society, we wear masks that project social conformance. Face is all important in our Asian society. We wear masks projecting theat we are a good Christian family. Never mind that we are actually cold and unkind to each other at home. We wear the masks of a happy married couple even though we are really unhappy with each other. Do you think the sex bloggers, Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee angered people because they refused to wear masks?

When I was very young, I observed how adults led lives of acting and of duplicity. They never seemed to speak truthfully to one another. In my mind, I wondered about the virtue of  honesty they taught me. I resolved that when I grew up, I would be different. Of course, when I started working, I realised that there are many games played out in the corporate world. People don't want to hear the truth and actually wanted me to play along. To survive, one has to know that a mask is only a tool. And a mask is not to be identified with oneself. 

Whether we want to admit it or not, everyone of us has this innate desire to be known.  We all want someone to know us, acknowledge us and realize that we exist.  The need to be known is not about popularity or fame, but rather the human desire of connection and acknowledgement. And this need cannot possibly be met until we expose our true and vulnerable selves.