Demons Within

When you gaze upon a baby, what stirs within you?  I feel a natural protectiveness towards them because they are at such a vulnerable stage of their lives. Maybe, you may feel differently  but I don’t expect that your feelings would lead you to throw it out of your bathroom window.

Thus, it really saddens me to read of a 2.8kg newborn baby girl being flung out of the third floor of an apartment in Sungai Way by her own mother in the newspapers today.  Though the mother, a 20 year old factory worker denies killing the baby, the fact of the matter is that the baby is dead. It was reported that the baby was alive when she was thrown but died of head injuries. 

What drives a human being to dispose of her baby and in such a manner? I can only guess. Was she suffering from post-natal depression? Was she insane? To me, it is a sad day for humanity when a mother can have such blatant disregard for  her own flesh and blood. And I am not coming from a judgmental point of view, to crucify her. No. I am sad at the circumstances which could have driven a person to such an act.

The mother-child bond is regarded as almost sacred, is it not? A mother is meant to love and protect, her child or am I wrong again? In reality, just as not all children are good to their parents, not all parents are good to their children. Some mothers torture and burn their own children. There is physical abuse and there is emotional abuse. 

A story of emotional abuse I can recall is that of my close friend. Her mother verbally and emotionally abused her from the time she was a little child till  long after she became a mother herself. She was her mother's  punching bag for years, never seeming to do anything right. Her mother would shout at her daily for the slightest things. When she was 16 years old, her mother shouted profanities at her, calling her a whore in public with the excuse that she was disciplining her for attending a birthday party (even though she had given her permission earlier). Her mother would make it known she was not happy whenever my friend went out to enjoy herself, for holidays or bought anything to beautify herself . It was years later that my friend realised that her mother took out her pent-up  rage  on her, the youngest child, because of the verbal abuse her own  father had  inflicted on her mother. Her mother, instead of confronting her own anger took the easy way out by abusing my friend. But the emotional damage had already been done because my friend grew up with many scars.

It is so easy to take it out on the innocent and vulnerable, those who cannot fight back. Has it ever happened to you? You have had a tough day at work or was scolded by your superior or customer and you had no opportunity to retaliate. You keep the anger within you. Driving home, you encounter heavy traffic which really pisses you off. When you finally reach home, your son accidentally spills milk all over the floor. Would you not just let it fly? Let it all out on your innocent little son, giving him the scolding of his life? It could happen to the best of us at one time or another. It is so easy, being in the position of power to take it out on the innocent and the weak with nary a thought.  But little do we foresee the extent of the damage and hurt our actions cause.

In the above case of the factory worker, what could have possibly happened in her life to have driven her to kill her baby, we don't know (assuming she is guilty). All of us are subject to the pressures of living. Some can manage better than others. It is wiser to deal with those pressures, be it internal or external before it blows up in our faces. It could be our josb, our relationships with our spouse and children or financial pressures. It helps to take a break to think through or seek help or support. Take responsibility to deal with our issues and the demons within. Otherwise, we end up hurting ourselves and those we love, causing more damage than we realise.