Saturday 24 November 2012

No Baggage, Please


Have you come across people who spend their time complaining about others? They can complain about the same subject for years and years but don't seem to get tired of listening to themselves.  People around them start avoiding them after awhile.

In their stories, it seems that they are the perpetual victims. The perpetrators  maybe their spouse, children, neighbour or even strangers. But the stories are essentially the same. They have been treated unfairly or badly yet curiously they allow the cycle of mistreatment to continue. They do not make the effort to confront the source of their complaints. At times, they are so absorbed in their suffering that they are not aware.

It seems that human nature is such that we are sometimes attached to our suffering.  The old and familiar is comforting. It is nice to play the same old records and get the sympathy of others and to get some attention.

Maybe all of us have been or are stuck in some old stories. We cannot move forward because we are not willing to confront the issues which keeps us stuck. It is too painful to dig up the old stuff.  This old stuff is our baggage, issues from the past we have not dealt with, usually out of fear.  Maybe it is to face up to the reality that our lives did not turn out the way we expect.  It could be the way our parents abused us or favoured our siblings over us.  Or we may be disappointed with our careers, spouses, children or friends. Maybe we felt we deserved better. Or that we were passed over by our bosses for a promotion.

Whatever it is,  if we don't deal with our hurt, pain and disappointments now, our emotional baggage just keeps getting heavier. Are we going to drag all of it to our graves? Or will we choose to unload them while we still can? Like it or not, we cannot run away from the truth of our lives. It catches up with us sooner or later.

4 comments:

  1. Hi CF,

    Yes, I have come across such people, especially one person, me.

    But nowadays I have lighter baggage to carry for I have learned to lighten it. Before one can lighten the baggage, one needs to know how to open the baggage. Assuming the baggage is locked, one needs to find the key. And the key is inside one's mind. Change one's mindset to understand why one needs to lighten one's baggage, then the rest will be easier.

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  2. Dear CF,

    The above aptly applies to my MIL though she is blessed with a wonderful husband and children. I have tried to talk to her about it but she told me off, she also has a fiery temper. I don't live with her but she still calls me up now and then to 'air her views' as I live quite far away from her. She's in her early 80's, fit and alert, I hope and pray that awareness comes to her someday, so she may live to a ripe old age without these baggage.

    Evelyn

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  3. Hi CF

    It's so good that you made us realise that we have to dispose our 'baggage' while we can. We must be able to let go a lot of things and not dwell in our past. I have been practising being mindful of what we want to say and do especially to our own family members first and then to friends. Being kind, patient, have a ear to listen to others, and happiness will come naturally. I talk about myself and my innerself first before want to even think about others.

    We will be able to see things in a different angle and not think about when our children will come back and when my daughter or son will call me. For info, I have 1 daughter and 1 son in their mid 20s,daughter working in Spore, son working temporary in Ausssie, and coming back for studies for his final year. I used to miss them so much and always wondering how they were coping. I have learned the hard way to free from worrying , and now kept myself busy spiritually and learning meditation and doing volunteer work. I'm slowly but surely will achieve what I want to do.
    I am not rich enough to live in luzury but money is not everything to happiness. We need to reflect on ourselves as acquiring more and more is definitely suffering. We need to prepare our lives for the end and not wait to be sick to do what we want. 'When we go we will go alone' as quoted by my dharma friend. how true... and that striked me like a bomb!!!!
    Be happy.
    Sze

























    we

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  4. Dear Justin, Evelyn and Sze,

    Thank you for all your contributions.

    CF

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