Tuesday 19 March 2013

Happily Ever After


                       

When I was in school, I noticed that romance novels were very popular among my classmates. One girl called Kumari used to carry a bagful of them to school, to exchange with her romance novel bookclub members. Their favourite were books by the Mills & Boons publishing house, which featured many different female authors. I was rather curious, so I asked her to recommend some books by the better authors. However, I could only manage about two books before I became seriously bored. Their story lines were essentially the same. The damsel in distress swept off her feet by the mysterious stranger, who came to her rescue. Yawn.......

The practical side of me found it hard to believe and enjoy what were to me then, rather unbelievable stories. Romance fictions always ends just when real life is about to start. The story always end with the couple falling in love and living happily after. In real life, the point when the couple gets married is when their love is really lived out.

Will their romance get side tracked by the practicalities of life, such as house chores, in-law problems, children, careers and different interests? Yes, there will be a period in the courtship phase when couples can be very romantic with one another.  But why is it somehow assumed that the romance would be automatically sustained without putting in effort?

Are real relationships like that as portrayed in popcorn movies and romance novels? Yet, their influence on our perception of love is subtle. It is when you realise that you have  these expectations which you want your partner to fulfill (similar to the hero in the movies or novels) that you realise the power of its influence in your life. Where did these expectations come from?

The truth is that relationships are a joint effort, much like tending to a plant. Water it, nurture and talk to it lovingly and it blooms beautifully, Otherwise, it could turn out quite ugly too. Couples who, in their old age, wage cold war, curse one another and are unable to carry out a conversation without getting into an argument, are one too many. The truly loving couples are too few. So, what happened to the couple who were once besotted with one another? The romance novels seem to be deafeningly silent on what happens...... ever after.

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