Hope

After I posted the story of the stray kitten I rescued, readers have asked me what my decision was. I didn't write about it because I wanted readers to think about what they would have decided if they were in my shoes. 

I can actually see why many people would have passed the kitten by, some not noticing its injuries, others thinking they could not help and yet others would have thought that it is too much trouble and smelly handling a stray. It's not surprising as even vets felt that there are too many strays around and putting another injured one down isn't a bad choice. We make our judgements and decisions based on our life experiences and our values. Sometimes we get hardened by the sheer number of suffering animals we see.

I took the kitten to a third vet at the suggestion of my friend. This vet was more positive and said that the kitten's hind leg would heal. Its front left paw had already dried and dropped off  and the other paw was also partially torn off. Without any hesitation, I made arrangements to leave the kitten there for treatment. As its condition is rather serious, I felt it would get the best care with the vet. Since then, I have visited the kitten almost daily except for the days I was away attending a course. My daughter waited patiently with me for our kitten's turn as the change of wound dressing was slotted toward the end of the day.

As the bone of its hind leg was exposed, it would take some time for the wound tissue to granulate. Tissue granulation is a process by which fibrous tissue rich with blood capillaries replaces blood clots formed at the site of a healing wound. Through this process, healthy and normal skin is able to replace skin that was damaged. The tissue that forms over a wound during this process is called granulation tissue. 

After the first week, the vet noted that a few more bones were dislocated and moving. He suggested a surgical procedure to insert metal stents to keep the bones from moving. Otherwise, healing would be very slow or granulation may not happen. It underwent an operation a week ago. Please send love and healing to this little stray kitten. It has undergone so much in its young life. 

This picture was taken when I first brought it back

Life and Hope

Last Saturday, as I was walking into a food court with my family for our evening meal, my daughter tugged my hand, "Mom, poor thing!" pointing in the direction of a little kitten. It was meowing very loudly. I noticed that one of its paws was twice the normal size. My daughter urged me to take it home but I told her to wait till after our dinner. "If it is still here then, we will consider" I said.

After dinner, it was still in the same spot meowing very loudly. My husband told me it was very badly injured. Its front paw was broken and dangling. To me then, there was no question. It needed medical care and without a second thought, we brought it home, in a big plastic bag.

The next day, we brought it to our usual vet. She appeared a bit taken aback at the condition of kitty. All three legs were injured. The hanging paw had dropped off by then. The bone on its hind leg was exposed. Even its tail was broken. She was deliberating what to do.  Her opinion was that though there is hope that the leg would heal, she could not be certain. Alot of time and cost would be involved. She said that if it were her, she would put kitty to sleep. 

With a heavy heart, I went home. I then checked out the funding available from animal  organisations. My friend who is an independent dog rescuer, suggested that I seek the opinions of other vets. The second vet I went to said there is a small chance of recovery but questioned whether I want to put in the time and money on that little hope. He suggested that I put the kitty to sleep. He asked me if I was willing to take care of a paralysed cat round the clock, if it did not work out.

I was very troubled that night.  I thought through the various reasons commonly given for euthanasia. In this case, we make the decision for the animal. Is animal life less precious and more dispensable than human life? Is it selfish to allow an animal to suffer a long and painful death? What possible reasons can justify such a decision? Is it to avoid creating bad karma for ourselves? Or is it that we do not want the suffering of having to take care of the animal?  Is it  just to reduce its suffering or my suffering? I think it is both. Is it really more compassionate to put an animal to sleep  to reduce its suffering? 

If it were you, would you choose to ignore the injured animal and leave it to die? Or would you take it home and put it to sleep? Would you take care of a paralysed cat, feeding it, cleaning its poo and pee, blow drying its backside for its entire life? Which would you choose?

Principles and ideals are all very good, till it happens to us. It is then, that we take a long, hard look at ourselves and what our values really stand for, especially when things become an inconvenience for us.

Are Your Thoughts You?

It has been awhile since I last posted on this blog. I have been busy, exploring and seeking to understand my world and myself. Unlike some of my spiritual friends, I am still searching. I have often wondered too, whether blogging is a bit of an egoistic activity. Does putting down my thoughts about life and posting it  reek of  self-importance?

Thoughts lead to feelings, feelings to actions and actions create our life experiences.  We attach so much meaning and importance to our thoughts. We believe and trust our thoughts implicitly, without question. We allow our thoughts to define us and who we are. We also allow those thoughts to dictate our lives.

What we think of, and how we think has so much impact on our happiness. It really isn't the things around us that stresses us. It is our thoughts about those things that stresses us. We get so caught up in the stories which we tell ourselves and then, feeling all the emotions that come up with it. Thus, engaging in those thoughts with will affect us one way or another.

We listen to horror stories in our heads. We tell ourselves the same old story again and again and playing the same record for years. If you were rejected as a child, the painful experience could have left you with a fear of rejection. Look closely and see if you have been replaying and literally hypnotising yourself with fearful thoughts of rejection since then? The point of it is that those thoughts are not real. But when we engage with it, those thoughts produce emotions and we act on those emotions. We then make it real.

It is not just about thinking positive. We try to think positively for a day or two or even three. Then, we fall back into our old ways. The thing is to allow those thoughts to clear. Watch those thoughts pass away and not react to them. Sounds easy? Try practising for 5 minutes daily, just watching your thoughts pass by and take notice. Learn about your self and what you actually think about when you are not looking!  Are we really who we think we are, in our heads or are we much more?